School Is Back!

By the time you read this everyone will be back in the school routine. We hope your family is finding its groove again. When the morning feels funky, often we focus on what went wrong that morning, but we believe the success of a morning routine is the preparation that goes in the night before, over the weekend and over the weeks and months ahead of that morning.

Creating opportunities for your child and teenager to be independently getting ready is not something we can magically expect to happen because we tell our child to do it a certain way, in fact this approach is likely to meet resistance. I know I don’t love to be told what to do when, but do love someone who can guide, teach, model and come alongside me to learn. Same goes for the simple morning routines for our younger children and for what our teenagers may not ask for but still need.

So next time you hear yourself barking orders (guilty!) maybe come alongside (literally, at eye level, next to, in close proximity) and in a calm, practical, curious voice ask what jobs they have done already and what is still left to do. This plants a thought seed, helps memory retention over time and helps them feel pleased with themselves when they know what needs to get done. With older children or teens, it may be just asking if there was anything they needed your help with in the morning or even asking this the night before.

If the mornings aren’t going well, best to talk about it as a family at another time of day, problem solving skills are not at their best when you’re against the clock and annoyed things aren’t getting done! Rather than lay down instructions, start conversation about the dilemma that you as parents have noticed and that you’d like the mornings to be an easier space for all of you. Invite the children in the family to come up with some ideas of how we could make it easier in the mornings and maybe write these suggestions down. It doesn’t mean you take their ideas and run with them but it means they feel involved, heard and in turn they will be more open to your perspective and ideas. Come to an agreed plan and put it on the fridge.

Of course, all of the usual practical tips are still sound tools to use and your child may come up with these for your plan. Ideas such as packing lunches the night before, using a visual planner of the day ahead and going through this with the family at dinner the night before, using sticky note reminders in lunchboxes, making sure clothes are ready the night before, getting to bed on time to limit sleeping in! My favourite strategy is if I am ready first of a morning, everything runs more smoothly because I can be available if needed and I have had my coffee. Resourcing me is always the best strategy to get our best morning routine action.

These are general family strategies, if you need more individualised and tailored support, please reach out to our team.

This time of year is also often peak for anxiety, if your children are struggling with separation anxiety at drop off, or your teen is refusing to go to school, make contact with us, we can work with you, your child and the school. We are always thinking about all the ingredients to give the child the best start in their day and life, protecting against longer term challenges.